full

Sort of an ironic title, since I fasted most of today.

I don't think I did it right, or maybe I missed the point. In any case, I'm not sure what it accomplished.

I wanted to dedicate today to God, since we were setting it aside as a sort of retreat. I studied the Bible much of the morning, but by lunch time I started getting grumpy. I had trouble concentrating, because I was hungry. I tried praying, but just ended up thinking about food.

Maybe that is part of the point. I don't think my mind's very disciplined.

By about 2, Mr. suggested we go get massages. That was great. It took my mind off of things. Then I decided to nap. I figured if I was asleep supper time (and the end of my fast) would come more quickly. I had a bit of trouble falling asleep, because my stomach was growlingly empty.

As I laid there, I tried to think about what I should be learning from this experience. I figure that my life is full in many ways. I shouldn't just focus on the one thing that's lacking. I tried to think of all the things that made my life rich. I thought right away of Mr. and the kitty. Then I got stuck.

Right before I drifted off, though, I thought of a verse I had been pondering a few weeks ago. Psalm 16:11—
"You will make known to me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
In Your right hand there are pleasures forever."

There. That's it. That's the answer. And I'm always in His presence, so there is never actually any reason not to be joyful. Now if only I really lived that way…

I made it through to supper time, and then we went out to a restaurant. I ordered a big old burger and some fries—and I could only finish about half of them. Crazy. I had been starving, but I got full really fast. The heavy food was a bit of a shock to the system. (Typical rookie mistake, I suppose.)

I guess I'm glad I tried the fast, although I'm still not really sure what the benefits were. We'll see. I'll probably try it again sometime, but right now I'm reveling the feeling of a full stomach. I guess I'm still a bit of a heathen at heart! ;-)