strange

Today has been full of unusual things.  Early this morning we heard an awful sound, and looked outside to see what it was. All I saw was a motorbike being driven by a guy with a girl on the back, and it seemed that she was just wailing and wailing. I didn't see any other source for the sound, and as he drove off the wailing faded.

Then I went with a friend to get a massage, but we decided on herbal scrubs instead. It was the most vigorous scrub I've ever had. I don't think the girl had ever done it before. I felt like a slab of meat being seasoned for the grill. Fortunately my friend had a better experience. As for me, all I know is my armpits are extremely exfoliated. Why??? I don't know.

Later, as I rode a motorbike taxi home I heard a ruckus and a commotion ahead of me. The car in front of us was drifting to the right to avoid oncoming traffic. (Mind you, this was all going on at about 5 mph.) Unfortunately, there was also a car parked on our side of the road, and two men standing backed up against it, trying to avoid the moving car which was inching closer and closer. As it was, one guy got brushed by the side mirror. The other guy whacked on the roof of the car hollering at him. I really don't know how they avoided getting their toes run over.

That's about all the extraordinary things I saw today. Quite enough, really.

Other than that I spent much of the morning catching up on very late e-mails, and later had a meeting, wrote a newsletter update, and watched the Amazing Race.

Also had a baffling conversation with the lady who comes to clean our house a few hours a week. She came about 3 hours late today, which wasn't a problem except that it was dark by the time she was ready to drive her motorbike home. But it was also the end of the month, which is pay day. I approached her, saying it was time to pay her, money in hand. She said something about it being a problem, and I immediately understood, since many people here are afraid of being out late, especially with anything of value. I said we could wait to pay her on Wednesday if she was afraid. No, that wasn't it, she said. So, did she want the money? No, she was afraid it was a problem. What was the problem? She thought it was a problem for us to pay her so late at night. ??? I still didn't understand, since I was standing there with the money, trying to give it to her. I said if she didn't want the money until Wednesday, we could keep it here. She said she wanted the money if it wasn't a problem. No! It ISN'T a problem. I am standing here TRYING to give it to you!! So finally she took it. I still don't quite understand what happened there.

So, that's about all for today. The cat woke me up at 4:30 this morning. Not so great. But I did get my exercising done. That's good. Week 2 of the "six days shalt thou exercise" plan has begun.

sabbath

Well, it's been a nice day. Once again, I will not have this blog done by 9, but I am hopeful that it will be finished by 10 and I will be in bed not long afterward.

I don't feel nearly as tired tonight. I wonder if it has any correlation with the fact that I didn't exercise today. One day to rest. Kind of reluctant to start it all over again tomorrow. But… six days shalt thou exercise. Come on. Forty is coming.

So, Sunday. Ended up being a very good day. Leisurely morning, breakfast, church at 9:30. Lunch, visiting, took our guest to the airport. Dairy Queen!! (The only one in the whole country is at the airport.) Home, tried (unsuccessfully) to nap. Up, work on the computer with the TV on. Pancakes for supper, dishes, laundry, play with the kitty. Blog while watching LPGA golf. Got things done, but in an unhurried, stress-free way.

And it's so amazing to be typing and not fighting to keep my eyes open. I can actually think in whole sentences; paragraphs even. So here are some things I was meaning to write about all week, but was too brain-weary to remember.

We were at the hotel with our guest a few days ago, and a tuk-tuk driver who we know well asked if we needed a ride. (A tuk-tuk consists of a covered cart with seats, hooked to a motor bike.) We told him no, we were going to walk. We added that the motor taxi drivers who hang out on our street were always very annoyed with us, because we walk to a lot of places. He brightened right up and said, "Yes! That's true!" He enthusiastically went on to explain that there was a Dutch guy who lived on the street he used to work, but the Dutch guy never used his services because he walked a lot. He repeated a few times, "We all knew he had money, but he just kept walking!" Foreigners.

I found it a bit awkward to shoot photos while we had visitors. Like I said, we walked to a lot of places, which is usually my time for looking for beauty. It's best when I'm alone, because I can be very unhurried. But when it's just me and Mr. he always stops and waits patiently while I photograph things. However, with our friend walking with us, it was a little embarrassing. I didn't want to hold him up or appear like I wasn't engaged. But I still needed my photos. So, I pulled out my camera and took some hurried shots. Looking back at them, they're not bad, but not my best either. Although I really like the one yesterday, with the iron gate and the barbed wire. I am thinking I could do a photo exhibit on barbed wire. Might be interesting.

I was also a bit discouraged half-way through the week as I tried my first 6-day exercise routine. By about day 3 my left knee had started to hurt a little bit; just when I bent it with weight on it. It really didn't ache any other time, so I'm hoping the muscles around it will strengthen up and clear things up as time goes by. What do you think are the chances of that?

And it's been sooooo hot lately. You know it's bad when you shower, dry off, pull on your clothes, and by the time you're fully dressed you're already dripping in sweat. Literally. Sweat running down in rivers. Bad.

Well, it's close to 10. I want to end this day as well as it started. So, soon to bed. Next week is another busy one!

six

Woo hoo! Today was my sixth day of exercise in a row. So far in this initial week, the "Six days shalt thou exercise" has been a good motivator—especially if you're achievement driven like I am. We'll see how long this plan survives as a motivator.  That being said, though, I can't tell you how sincerely much I am looking forward to a sabbath from exercise tomorrow.

We spent much of the day in meetings with our guest, and our co-workers here. The meetings were fine, and there was actually more free time in-between that I had expected. I got a few e-mails answered and posted a 3-page paper for the on-line class. Just one more big paper left to go, and I'll be done!

Speaking of e-mails, I feel like I'm falling behind so badly. It seems whenever I get one batch cleared up, in comes a huge influx of new messages. At this point all I can do is save them, flagging the ones I need to respond to. It tends to feel a little overwhelming!

I also slipped out of the group stuff for a few hours to join a ladies' get-together that our church was hosting. Just five of us showed up, but we organizers foresaw this problem (since the date is sandwiched between two holidays). The get-together was held at the coffee shop where I usually have my half day with God. It was a good reminder that I need to have one of those again sometime soon.

Well, tomorrow is the wedding of my best friend from college, and house-mate after that. It's pretty neat for a number of reasons, and I wish her all the best in her marriage (not just the wedding day!). If she reads this blog (which is something ANYONE would love to do on their honeymoon, right?) she can know I'm thinking of her. Sorry I can't be there!

Besides that, I don't have much to say. I have nodded off quite a few times here in the last hour or so trying to write this blog. Wondering how many of you out there have fallen asleep with your "laptop" computer on their laptop. Scary! Bad jolt when you wake up an realize what you have done. Sigh of relief.

So, good night before I really fall asleep and drop my computer on the floor. That would be bad. I hope someday soon things will slow down a bit more, and I will be able to expend more time and energy on these posts.

thunder

So, I stayed up sooo late last night. I started my blog after midnight, and didn't actually turn the light out to sleep until 1 am. Then, wouldn't you know it, there was a rain storm complete with thunder and lightning. The kitty woke me up at 4, by sitting on top of me. She might have been frightened by the thunder. After that, I had a really hard time going back to sleep. Must have dozed off a little bit, but finally gave up at 6 and got up.

So, precious little sleep.

The kitty also must feel a bit neglected with our busy week, because last night she reverted to some bad kitten ways. My last roll of toilet paper is now chewed and clawed. Shredded but usable.

It would have been very tempting to just forget exercise and stay in bed. However, Mr. (who I asked to help keep me motivated for this "six days shalt thou exercise") reminded me gently that I had an exercise goal.

So, up and sweating to a full Zumba workout before 7 am.

 Most of our time today went to hosting our guest and attending meetings with our colleagues. Good times, but I feel the pressure looming of that paper for my on-line class, other meetings, and e-mail catch-up. :-P

I was able, however, to grab a few moments here and there. I think I have now finished that paper (hoping Mr. will read it through and give me his feedback) and posted my final 2 responses to the class discussions. Encouraging.

We still weren't home much of the day, which the kitty isn't used to. She actually came and curled up on me tonight, which is rare. Except, of course, at 4 in the morning! Doh!

But now, really. I absolutely MUST get to bed. Didn't really have a lot of time for anything deep or reflective today. Simply keeping moving was a major accomplishment for me today!

buzz

So, it's a scientific fact that if you leave you house at 12 noon, you can not also simultaneously arrive at your destination at 12 noon. In the same way, if you start writing your blog at midnight, you can not have it finished by 9 pm (which has been my goal all week, believe it or not). I have tested both of those theories today, and have found that they are, indeed, true.

So, it's been another really full day. I did get up in time to have breakfast with Mr. before he went to teach his Bible school class. Then exercise and some short devotions, and a vain attempt to catch up on some e-mails. I also posted responses on my on-line class before Mr. got home around 10. We met up with our guest, who left on the noon bus. I also left at noon for a coaching appointment—arriving slightly late as you might have guessed.

Home again, more e-mailing, off to the airport to meet another guest. It always astounds me how long it takes to pick up someone there. We travel about a half an hour to get to the airport around the time their plane is scheduled to land. But in actuality, it takes them another half an hour or more to get through immigration and gather their bags. Then there's another half an hour back into the city. Tonight's pick-up took 2 hours. It was rush hour as we re-entered town, and the traffic was horrendous.

Supper with our guest. He wanted Mexican. We shared a pitcher of margaritas, since it was happy hour. I had skimped on lunch earlier (because I was late!) and so was imbibing on an empty stomach. Not a good idea. I felt a little buzz going, so I backed off until after my food came. I hope no one gets terribly offended.

Then we walked to a coffee shop and got coffee for the 3 of us, and two other friends. These are the friends with whom we meet every other week for prayer and encouragement. Funny note: it was buy one, get one free night, so they wouldn't let us just buy 5 drinks. They insisted we get a sixth one. Someone needs to explain a few more business principles to them.

To our friends' house. Had a really nice time of talking and praying. The coffee shop didn't have decaf coffee, so I got a hot chocolate, figuring it would have less caffeine than coffee. I started really drooping right around prayer time, I was soooo sleepy. But, by the time we headed home I could feel the slight buzz of caffeine. 

My poor body. I have confused it tonight!

But the caffeine rush isn't an all bad thing, because I still had some e-mails I needed to write before tomorrow. I was able to stay awake and push through. Buzz, buzz, buzz. 

The cat, however, seems to think she's been neglected today. I admit, there hasn't been as much time to play with her as usual. So, a few minutes ago I heard a strange ripping noise. I followed it to a bathroom, where I caught that naughty little kitty completely shredding a roll of toilet paper. !!!

12:30 now. I really need to sleep. I have accomplished 4 days of my 6-day exercise plan, but if I don't go to bed soon, I am afraid that I won't get up in time tomorrow. And so with that, good night!

pushing

Super busy day, and I'm tired. Mr. has had an even busier day, and his isn't over yet. We are both really ready for some shut-eye. And the week just gets busier from here. We are going to be pushing like this all week.

At least the power is on, and our air conditioner is running.

I don't really have a lot to say about today. I just ran from one thing to another. Breakfast, yoga, coaching skype call, computer work, meeting, lunch, home, computer work, pick up the guest, meet a friend, another meeting at supper. Home, blog.

I am nodding off over the keys, and it's only 9:30. Ugh.

Possible good news came in an e-mail today. In response to my inquiries for a sabbatical retreat/relaxation place, one guy wrote back that our target date was a good time of the year (low season so their rent would be cheaper), and that they thought they could "…work with the cat."

I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high; don't want to be disappointed. But I think God might be answering my prayer. You think He might actually care about a little kitty after all? And about the owner of said little kitty? When am I going to learn??!

We lost electricity again today. It had come on at about 11:30 last night and stayed on through the night, so we had some good sleep, although we got less of it than we had originally wanted.

I worked at home in the morning until a meeting at 10:30. Right about 10:15 the power cut out again.

It was off when I left, and still off when we returned this afternoon—about 2. But when we got back around 8 this evening, it was back on again. It's sooo nice to have power tonight! Ahhhhh. What did people ever do before the air conditioner?

OK. Well, I'm going to call it quits. I just can't stay awake. Not even sure if I'm making much sense. Three straight days of exercise down. That might have something to do with the weariness.

darkness

Well, I'm typing to you by candle light. Thank goodness my computer has a good battery. But it means that I won't be able to post anything until we get power back.

I don't know how long it's been off. We were away from home since late afternoon, greeting a guest at the airport and then out at supper with him. As we walked home, we noticed that the block two removed from our house was all dark. We drew closer: the block just before ours didn't have power either. One small ray of hope glowed in the darkness, as we saw a neon sign on our block shining brightly.  But as we drew closer we heard the "putt, putt, putt" of a generator. The rest of our block, including our house was totally dark.

This is inconvenient due to lack of internet, TV, and light, but it is simply unbearable in 100 degree heat, like we've been having. If the electricity doesn't come back soon, sleep will bee hard to come by.

Anyway, today was day two of what I am calling the "six days shall you exercise, but on the seventh day you rest" training program. I did toning zumba today. Tomorrow is yoga, provided the power comes back on. :-/

It was also a half day with God. Nice reflective time. I decided it wasn't the right time to start the dance classes. Bummer, but I think it's the right decision. We also wrestled a little more about the kitty, God and I. He wonders why I think He is a big meanie who wants to take away the things that make me happy. I think He cares more about the Big Picture plans than about a kitty. I'm still not sure what the verdict is, but I do know He doesn't want me to fret about it as much as I have been. :-(

Walking home I captured the photo for today. I swear, there was this picturesque spot just bathed with sunlight. (We have plenty of that here.) There were even little butterflies flitting around. The scene was almost glowing. It was beautiful. All it needed was a little soft focus to look like a Thomas Kinkaid painting or a lighted studio shot. (And sometimes when my glasses are dirty I almost accomplish that look without the aid of Photoshop! Hee hee.)  :-)

Later, however, I passed a beggar. Not that that's unusual. They're abundant. But this one called out to me for some money. Usually I smile and shake my head "no". But today for some reason, I just didn't feel like deflecting her demand, so I pretended I didn't hear and kept on walking. I felt pretty bad afterward, because even though I don't usually give money, I at least acknowledge their humanity by looking them in the eye, interacting with them—even if it is a "no". I felt a bit disappointed in myself for just pretending she didn't exist today.

So, there you have most of my day. No, not really everything, but I figure you don't want a blow-by-blow.  I also sent out that huge newsletter mailing that is now 3 (!!) weeks overdue, visited a friend, and typed two pages of a 3-page report that is due on Friday for my on-line class. Pretty productive, balanced, and good day.

And I just have to say for the record that my Mr. is pretty awesome. I mentioned this morning before leaving at 9 that we were getting low on cat food and litter, and we needed to see to it in the next day or two. By the time I got home for lunch at 1, he had gone out and gotten everything we needed. What a guy.

The cat, I must add, is very curious about all the candles. If we reach tomorrow morning with all whiskers intact, it will be amazing.

communication

I have been communicating in one form or another all day today. Whew.

Started off with a skype coaching call. (Well, no, I actually started the day off playing with the kitty, having devotions, and exercising. Good way to start the day!) But at 8 I skyped with a friend who is coaching me. I really needed some help thinking things through.

Then I got right to work on answering some e-mails. I read posts for my on-line class. I needed to post some replies of my own, so I started researching to compose my responses.

At about 11:30 I met with a friend for coaching and general visiting and encouragement. It poured down rain so we waited it out at the coffee shop. Which STILL doesn't have decaf. Chai tea latte again. Sigh.

Home again, later than I had intended because of the downpour. Resumed my research. Typed and posted my responses by 6. Mr. heated up leftovers for supper. A little TV. Then I wrote our weekly newsletter. Now I'm typing this blog.

And the kitty wonders why I am not playing with her.

Funny thing. I had my camera out on the way to the coffee shop. It kind of felt futile, as I photographed things at random, many of which I've previously posted, feeling like I had already seen everything on that street a thousand times before. But I reminded myself that I just needed to look harder. I started looking up, around, down—at anything NOT at eye level. Looking up, up, up. Balconies, second stories, roof-tops. And then I saw it. This little ornate decoration I had never noticed before. It was lit up in the sun, and just popped. I wondered how I had missed it all the other times I had walked down that street. Amazing. Beautiful.

So, I had this goal to have my blog written by 9 pm. It's already 9:30, so I've missed the goal on the very day I set it. But anyway… The reason for the goal is so that I can get to bed at a decent time. The reason I want to get to bed at a decent time is so I can get up early. And why, pray tell, do I want to get up earlier? I have set another goal: to exercise 6 days a week, with just Sunday off.

I know. Unrealistic. Over the top. But it struck me: I have a target weight that I would like to achieve by my 40th birthday. I set the goal when I turned 38, and it sounded totally achievable. Now I'm just 8 months away from 40, with little progress. It's time to kick things into high gear!

Actually, my coach this morning reminded me that, even more noble than setting a weight goal, is just the goal of developing healthy habits. So many factors go into gaining or losing weight. But I can never go wrong establishing good habits that take care of my body—regardless of the "measurable" results. She's right, I know. (But I'd still like to see tangible results…)

So here we go. I did it this morning. That's one down for the week. Just 5 to go.

And so, I'm off to bed!

quiet

Today was a relatively quiet day. I purposely wanted it so. It was Sunday, after all.

No exercise today, so that was pretty luxurious. I had hoped to sleep in, but Mr. had agreed that we would meet some people for breakfast. So, I got myself up and around grudgingly. I woke up quite early, and was despairing about going back to sleep. But I read my Bible and prayed a while, which was so calming that it eventually turned back into sleep. About an hour later I absolutely HAD to get up and moving in order to get ready in time, and was kind of peeved about it.

I tried to get myself in a better frame of mind as we walked to our favorite flaming beef "restaurant" (under an awning on the sidewalk). I was partially successful, but the company cheered me right up. We do not connect with these people very often, but I have the feeling we'd be friends if we made more of a point to get together. We are very like-minded. I left the visit feeling kind of bad that we haven't gotten to know each better before this, and sad that we leave in less than a year, so there really isn't much time left.

Home, quiet. I finished my reading for the on-line class. Mr. made sandwiches for lunch. We watched UFC fights on TV. Yes, I like Mixed Martial Arts. Weird, but there you have it. My Mr. is the envy of other guys because his wife will 1. drink beer with him, 2. play golf with him, and 3. watch MMA with him. But I think he's pretty awesome because he'll 1. go to plays and musicals with me, 2. take ballroom dancing, if we ever live near a place that teaches it, 3. play with my cat. 

Nap afterward. Ahhhh. Up, shower, ready for church. Good service, then to supper with people we had just met through a common friend. Nice evening. Mangoes with white wine afterward.

And I'm tired. And it's time for bed. And I still feel a little overwhelmed by the busy two weeks that are coming up. I have someone coaching me tomorrow, and hopefully we'll work out a plan.

Now to bed. I feel a little sheepish about my photo for tonight, but there are two very good reasons. One, I had the camera with me all day, but when I got it out this evening to capture a few shots that I really liked, it acted like the battery was dead. So I just put it away. But later, when I got home, it said the battery was full. Weird. But the point is, I would have gotten more shots if that hadn't happened.

And number two, it's JUST TOO HOT to get out there and get good shots. I hardly want to leave the house, but when I absolutely have to it's hard to take the time to snap photos. It is just boiling and I have trouble lingering over things and noticing beauty. Ugh. I'll try to do better. But for today, enjoy the kitty who, for some reason, loves to sit in the only puddle of sunshine in our apartment. Crazy.

balance

I seem to be in such a better place today. Weird. Not sure, exactly, what made the difference. Well, I am paying attention to some of the more important things (devotions, meditation, prayer, exercise) and the other stuff seems to be falling into line. Even though there is still a lot to do, I don't feel so overwhelmed, and there seems to be a better balance to my days.

And speaking of balance, I tried yoga again today. Some of you might remember my disastrous first attempt a month or so ago in Singapore, when I got a black eye. Well, this was much better. It was a beginner's video, and didn't seem dangerous at all. The guy did mention Buddha once, and talked about yin and yang, positive energy flowing, etc. But I figure I don't have to buy into that, and use it as a time to meditate on the Bible verses I've been memorizing. And there must be something to it, because my body feels so much better after doing those stretching, strengthening poses. Not to sound too kooky or anything, but I really do think I was in a better frame of mind for having done it.

The kitty was confused, though, and kept trying to either walk on me (when in lying down positions) or walk under me (when in bridge-type positions). It was a little awkward. ;-)

The first half of the day was at home catching up on some computer work. The second half I was out and about. First, a friend and I made a deal that if we both worked out twice this week, we could go for a manicure. It was the motivation we needed. I exercised 3 times, if you count the yoga as exercise. The manicures were so nice we went for pedicures, too.

In my hunt for beauty I was captured by this door today. It was at the spa where we got our mani/pedi done. And by spa, I am using that word VERY loosely. It's basically one room above a restaurant, but it's nicely decorated and the price is right. 

Anyway, this door. The photo doesn't quite do it justice because the colors seem a little washed out, and I had trouble finding an angle I liked to shoot from. But it was so weathered and rough in places, so many subtle variations in the blue-green hues. This is one time when I feel like the photo didn't do it justice.

Then I met someone else for a coaching appointment. The coffee shop STILL doesn't have decaf. I do like that chai tea latte, but I am beginning to miss my café mocha! I might have to try a different coffee shop!

How funny we are. Really. Less than a year ago I couldn't have bought decaffeinated coffee anywhere in this country. Now I'm complaining because they're out of it! We are sooooo fickle.

So, Mr. picked me up at the coffee shop and we went to a friend's house to watch a movie. The Way. Quite good. Makes me want to go walk it, too! Maybe that's a good thing to do on a sabbatical. Hmmmm…

So, now it's late and I really want to go to bed. But poor kitty; she's been alone all evening and really wants some attention. Unfortunately, she doesn't like the smell of the nail polish on my hands, and so doesn't want me to be too near. Kind of a catch 22.

But for now I'm going to wrap it up and go.

depth

Obviously, the titles that start with "over" are… over.

So, today was better. I don't know what made the difference. I took time to do a some devotions first thing. I exercised. I prayed a bit. After breakfast I sat down to make a list and try to figure out what exactly needed to be done. It was slow going at first, but I think I have things straightened out a bit. It feels good to at least see it written down. Although there IS a lot on that list.

And then what did I do? Dishes. It wasn't on my list, but needed done anyway. It's a big change for me. Unfortunately, when I was younger, if life got busy (which it was most of the time) all the "mundane" things of life—namely, housework—would just get neglected. Just ask my roommate after college. Apologies, H!

But now I'm finding it calms me and grounds me to do some of those every-day tasks. It was quite gratifying to see a mound of clean dishes drying, instead of a pile of dirty ones.

In the process of my planning, I found out that I have a paper due for my on-line class at the end of next week. I didn't know about it, and it's really good I discovered it now. I still don't know what in the world I'm going to write about, but at least I have a little time to work on it.

And did you know that the first ever dance studio has opened in my city? As far as I know it's the only one in the whole country. I'm SO excited on one hand. I was taking dance when I got married—a lifelong desire which I only realized after college—and then gave it up when we moved here. I checked out the schedule and rates, and everything looks doable.

On the other hand… I am a little hesitant. The stripping away of all those things that I loved—art, music, dance, theater—has actually been good for me. It has forced me to turn to God alone to find joy and fulfillment. It's been an incredible journey, but I have so far to go. I fear getting too busy again. Before my marriage, I rushed from one thing to another, filling my days as full as possible. Now the pace is not as frantic, but I still do not live at the depth and richness that I want to. I am concerned about life picking up so much speed that I just start skimming across the surface again.

I don't know. I really want to do it. But I'm not sure.

Anyway, I did a little more surfing of the internet, looking for places to stay during our sabbatical next year. I didn't find much, but for some reason I don't feel as hopeless as I did last night. Just a different day, a different outlook. I don't know why, exactly. But it's good to feel a bit better.

overwhelmed

I don't know what's wrong with me. I am having trouble sorting things out in my head. I can't seem to get a grip on my time and what needs to be done with it. It's all a messy blur and all feels very overwhelming at this moment.

Plus it doesn't help that it's just stinking HOT. You can hardly breathe, let alone think.

If I were honest, I'd have to say it wasn't a bad day. I just feel like I let the evening slip away from me. And in reality, I didn't even do that.

I was up at a good time, did some internet work, posted for my on-line class, and exercised (!!!) for the first time in about a month. Of course, I only made it about half way through the hour-long workout video, but it's a start. I'm back in the saddle again.

Showered, talked to Mr. a bit, and then headed off for a coaching appointment. We ended up having lunch together, too, and talking until about 2. Walked home, napped for about an hour.

Remembered I needed to get a bulletin insert finished today so they can photo copy it tomorrow to put into the bulletin on Sunday. Worked on that until about 6. Heated up leftovers for supper, watched American Idol and surfed the net.

That's where things kind of took a down-hill turn. I am looking for a place for us to stay for a 3 to 4 month retreat when we first return to the US next year. To begin with, I'm a lousy at internet searches. It overwhelms and bewilders me to wade through all of that information. Then, I wasn't finding what I wanted. It doesn't seem like a very common request to ask for a nice place of retreat (preferably an isolated cabin far from civilization) for a few months, at a reasonable price. Oh, and did I mention, it needs to be pet friendly??

OK. I admit, that's a pretty tall order. But what I found depressed me. The nice places either only let you stay for 1 or 2 weeks (Christian retreat centers), or cost an arm and a leg (vacation rentals). The missionary places look dumpy and depressing. And I am still not finding a lot of places that would smile on my cat…

:-(

Mr. chuckled at my tears of frustration, surprised that I really expected to find the perfect solution in just one evening of searching. OK. A little unrealistic, I admit, but after tonight's searches I am simply despairing that the perfect solution even exists.

Why do we always seem to ask for things that don't fit into anyone else's box? What's wrong with us??

I had a pretty enlightening talk with a teacher a week ago, and she said that there are kids that just don't fit into the system. It isn't that there's anything wrong with the kids; it's that the system itself is broken. 

I've been thinking about that in a broader sense since then. I have been trying to take half a day a week and just spend it with God. Some people think that's a pretty extravagant indulgence. Now we're asking for a year away, just to rest, reflect, reconnect with God and ask Him what's next for us. Most say that's a luxury they just can't afford.

But when did it get to be that seeking God was a luxury? How did tending to the every-day "necessities" of life become so all-consuming? When did God become a luxury and not a necessity??

I'm not advocating irresponsibility. I realize people have to make a living. But how can God be central to life, instead of something we work in if we can make the time?? Isn't this getting to the heart of what it means to "seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you"? Yes, it's just talking about food and clothes. No, not the extras and the frills. But who told us we needed those things anyway?

It's the system. It's so broken. We just don't fit, if we're trying to live by God's radical plan.

overtime

First of all, I'd like to mark a significant milestone. Yesterday was my 200th post. I am 20% to 1000. I'm excited that I've kept it up consistently (pretty much), and yet I'm shocked at how fast time is flying. 

So, I tried to be a Martha today, and didn't quite achieve it. I think she's a bit out of shape.

Up early, breakfast, and then I went along with Mr. to his Bible school class. I needed photos of him teaching for a video someone is doing back home. Took my computer with me, intending to get a lot of reading done for my on-line class, but actually did very little. 

Back home, a bit of internet work and then it was lunch. Most of the morning blown.

My resolve to be extra-productive in the afternoon gave way as soon as Mr. suggested I take an after-lunch nap. I have been fighting this dumb cold, and it is lingering. I gladly listened to him, and had a good sleep.

So, that left me precious little of the afternoon to accomplish things, especially when my friend called and suggested we go out to see a movie this evening.

Mr. and I went over to the restaurant where I have been painting, and posed a few shots for the video. To me they look pretty cheesy, but I suppose for a 3 second clip in a movie, they should be OK.

Home, worked on and finished that darn newsletter that has been haunting me for the past 2 weeks. Got a few other little details done, ate supper, folded laundry. 

Went out with my friends for an 8:30 showing of the Hunger Games. I apologize to those of you who are scandalized by my choice. I read the book last year, and was quite excited to get to see the movie. My suspicion is that those who are most offended by this story are those who have never actually read it. Again, sorry. It's just not that bad.

Did I mention that the ticket was just $3 and popcorn & a large Coke were just $2.50?? Yesssss.

Back home by 11, but my day was not finished yet. Logging in some overtime, I cleaned up and sent those photos we took today to the videographer in the US who is anxiously waiting for them. I also played some with the cat, who has been quite neglected and ignored the past few days due to my busyness. And now I'm blogging. I have just 8 minutes to get this posted before it becomes "tomorrow". Probably not going to make it.

The Coke has me buzzing a little bit, but I'll still be glad to lay my head down on the pillow tonight.

In all the hustle, I have still had some good (though short) devotional times. Quick reminders about peace, and God's presence. I so definitely need that. It's all too easy to keep just plugging away every day, and forget what we're doing it for. That being said, I hope to get back to a bit more balance here soon, and not feel like I'm so behind all the time.

overdue

Oh no! So, yesterday is the first day in almost 200 days that I totally blew off the blog. Ugh. It feels like something sacred has been lost!

It was a great day yesterday, full of Mary-like important things. People, beauty, God, warm beverages. Quite satisfying. 

First off, I had a great morning with God. Good journaling, insights, thinking, communion. Took some good photos from the coffee shop where I was studying. (No café mocha, though—they were out of decaffeinated coffee; so I tried a chai tea latte. I might have found a new favorite!)

Then my friend showed up for a time of catching up, good conversation, and lunch. I went back to her side of town and finished up the afternoon painting a chest of drawers for another friend. 

But as I went back home for a pork-n-sauerkraut supper that Mr. had made, I realized that I had some very Martha-type deadlines looming. What's worse, as I ate I realized that there was simply no way I was going to get it all done in time.

See, this is what happens when you shirk your responsibilities, my Martha side chided.

I hit the work right after supper. Leaving the dishes for later, I wrote our weekly update, and got right to reading for my on-line class—blowing off the blog all together. I tried and tried to stay awake, but kept nodding off to the point that I couldn't remember the sentence I had just read, and finally gave up.

Up again at 5:30 this morning, I finished up the reading and started the task of trying to formulate a response to the discussion questions. I had until 11:00 to get two responses done. Unfortunately, the first question I took on was about something quite controversial, and I had to wade through many commentaries before I could start to frame an answer. Even then, I couldn't offer anything conclusive (I don't think there is a black & white answer to that particular question) and missed my deadline by about 5 minutes.

Unfortunately, I still had one more question to answer, and Mr. was waiting for some graphics I had promised to do for the Bible school course he's teaching. The next class is tomorrow, and he needed them for that lesson. So, after a quick ham sandwich for lunch, I worked for a few hours on Mr.'s graphics. He was able to import them into his worksheets for tomorrow, and got them copied at about 4:30. 

THEN, back to my on-line class, I finished my second question by about 6—about 7 hours late. I heated up left-over pork-n-sauerkraut for supper, and then we watched a little well-deserved TV.

It wasn't a bad day today, really, except that I was glued to my computer screen for almost all of it, except for the break I took to wash the dishes that had been accumulating since the night before. Doesn't leave you any time to go out looking for beauty. So, here's the deal: I am posting yesterday's photo with today's blog. I will not be so lax again, promise.

That big newsletter is now 2 weeks late, and I have e-mails and various other small details to get caught up on. I am sooo glad to be exercising the Mary part of my personality more, but I am just not sure how to balance that with all the tasks that demand to be done. :-(  Argh!

But for tonight I am just going to give in, play with the kitty (who has been sleeping most of the day) and go to bed early. I still have this cold lingering in the background, waiting to get me down. Can't let that happen!

overachiever

So, the Martha in me kicked into high gear today. I guess to make up for the very Mary people day I had yesterday.

Up by 6, I read 16 chapters in Ezekiel for my on-line class. Then I made a breakfast of eggs and something I had never tried before: hash browns from scratch. I saw someone make something like hash browns on one of those cooking shows and I thought it looked easy enough. Of course, it wasn't as easy as they made it seem, but they turned out OK anyway. The patties didn't stick together, so they were like little shredded french fries, but Mr. liked them anyway. That's what really matters, and maybe I can perfect my skills with future attempts.

Then I was off to the restaurant, determined to finish the ceiling today. I promised Mr. I'd be home by 12:30 for the kimchi stew he was making for lunch. At 12 I called him and begged for another hour. It was a push and a rush, but I got it mostly done. The beams might need another coat of stain, but I'll wait and see what the owner thinks.

Home, lunch, a little golf on TV. Washed dishes, got a shower, prepped for church, then off we went. I led congregational prayer at church, and afterward we had supper out with a few friends. I wanted to just chill when we got home, but there is this newsletter I do every other month, and it's about 2 weeks overdue. :-( So I worked on that instead. Now it's almost 10:30 and I'm blogging.

And I feel like I'm getting a cold.  :-P  Ugh.

I think I had something deep to say, which occurred to me earlier today. But now I'm so tired that I don't remember it. I wasn't terribly reflective today, simply because I was so busy.

I have tomorrow all planned out, which is Martha-esque, but most of the day is full of Mary activities. Nice to see the two ladies working together like that. :-)

overturned

So, I had my own plans for today. And nothing worked out the way I expected. I was all ready to be task oriented, but it turned out to be a people day. And it turned out great.

Seriously, when I say a people day, I mean I went straight from one conversation to another from about 9:30 in the morning until 6 pm.

It all started with a skype call from some dear friends in the US. When it started, I still had grand plans for accomplishing much in the day. As I watched the time tick by (we talked until lunch!) I could feel the Martha in me getting tense. Don't get me wrong. The Mary in me was loving the time with them, and we were so encouraged by the conversation. But what about my plans??

So, I threw pancakes together for lunch in about 10 minutes, doing calculations in my head. I already had a coaching appointment planned for 4 pm. So, if I rushed, I could get in about 2 hours of painting, beat it back home, clean up and shower and still get to that meeting.

The problem was, there was this nagging voice in my head (and a tugging in my heart) that told me I also needed to visit this other friend. I argued that I had things to do. I didn't have time.

So, over pancakes I explained my dilemma to Mr. It didn't take long, as we talked, to make the decision. It came down to, tasks can usually be put off until tomorrow, but people can't. Or shouldn't be, anyway.

Definitely the Martha in me sighed as she watched her ambitions for the day get overturned. However, the Mary in me was vindicated, as the talk with my friend was uplifting, and the coaching appointment was really great, too.

I realized, as I walked home in the deepening dusk, after a day full of conversation, that you can learn so much when you just sit and really listen. Sometimes we're so busy trying to tell what we know, or what our opinions are, that we miss the opportunity to really hear another's heart and see things through their eyes. We need that. I do, at least. I had so many moments today when we were grappling with a topic and the other person came at it from just a slightly different angle than I had ever thought of, and it was revelatory.

And so I walked home feeling full and fortunate. Not only had I met with friends today, I had met with God. At different points in those conversations I heard Him talking to me. I thanked Him for it, as I walked in the park by our house.

When I got near our building, I could see lights on in our windows. From the street I could just see the top of Mr.'s head as he sat at his desk. My home felt warm and welcoming, just waiting for me. 

It turned out to be a great day. So much better than the one I had planned.

overheated

It was once again quite hard to get myself up, moving and motivated today. I started out just trying to have some quiet time with God. Last night with my friends, we talked about tapping into His strength instead of relying on our own. I'm not really sure what that actually looks like, or how it works. I did, however, picture myself the little toddler of the Psalm of a few days ago (Psalm 131), leaning and resting against the strong chest of the Father. It was comforting. I don't know that I took any additional strength into the day, but it was a good way to start.

I made breakfast, washed dishes, wrote a few e-mails, and then took myself in hand, knowing I was just putting off what I really needed to do today. So, paint clothes in hand, I trudged off to the restaurant, where another ceiling awaited me.

The paint I'm using for this ceiling is an oil-based primer, an enamel, and a stain of some sort. (I say that because this mystery liquid comes in used .5 liter water bottles, and has to be mixed with paint thinner in order to be used properly.) All of these paints are very stinky AND, since the restaurant is closed for the next 3 days for this big national holiday, it seemed the opportune time to tackle this project.

I was dragging my feet because it's not easy to paint a ceiling. I balance on the teetery top of a ladder, craning my neck, straining to reach the corners, all the while inhaling pungent paint fumes. On top of that, today was a hot one, so I was pretty much soaked through with sweat within the first half an hour, and remained so for the rest of the day. I drank a lot of water, but still my hand and foot muscles were beginning to cramp when I called it quits. I was definitely hotter than I should have been.

In spite of my griping, however, things went pretty well and I made good progress.

Mr. made sandwiches and brought them to me for lunch, which was so very sweet.

The only other noteworthy thing is that the turpentine I used to clean my brush this time didn't seem to cut the paint much at all, but burned my skin a lot more than usual. (I also get my turpentine in used .5 liter water bottles, so it is anyone's guess what I am actually receiving from week to week.) I was pacing, shaking my hands, washing them with soap and water, but nothing seemed to help. Finally, desperate, I went into the kitchen and stuck my hands in the freezer for a while. It seemed to help, although that bag of frozen french fries might have a slight turpentine taste now…. 

Back home, showered. Started supper, which Mr. finished because he said I had worked hard already. We were expecting a friend for supper, and then another friend called asking if we wanted to go out. We didn't, but invited him to come join us. It was a fun impromptu evening, even though I was pretty beat from my exertions of the day. They left, I did more dishes, and now I'm blogging.

Oh, yeah. And there were fireworks in honor of the holiday. They were right near our house, so it was nice; we could see them from one of our windows. It was NOT nice, however for the little kitty, who hid under the sofa form most of the rest of the evening.

But now is all quiet. Mr. is already in bed, and I am pretty sure it's time to rest this weary body as well.