anew

Hey there. I'm back. The past month has been a blur of busy-ness and good-byes. Not a bad time, but definitely some ups and downs.

It's New Year's Day and we spent it with Mr.'s parents at his brother and sister-in-law's house. Very fun day. Lots of food, lots of football.

Question: in this part of the US, it's customary to eat pork and sauerkraut on New Year's Day. Anyone else heard of that?

We're staying with Mr.'s parents. The cat is with us. She did OK throughout the 36-hour-long trip. Only freaked out once. She is adjusting well to her new surroundings. She has really bonded more closely with Mr. and me through the process, since we represent the Familiar and the Safe. It has been bittersweet, because I know we're going to need to leaver her when we start traveling around the country.

We have just a week and a half to go before we travel to my parents' home, about a two-day drive away. For the next seven months or so we'll be moving around a lot, so it seems wisest to leave the kitty with family here, so that she'll have a stable home.

Mr.'s mom has this maddening tendency to voice aloud the struggles and fears that I try my best to keep buried down deep. She has observed our interaction with the kitty, how close she is with us and how much security we provide. Yesterday we were away for a few hours and she saw that as soon as we came back into the house the cat came running. Her comment was, "How do you think she's going to do when you leave her and don't come back?" Oh sure. Just take my heart out and stomp on it why don't you? Fortunately, she was talking with Mr, and I overheard the conversation from another room. If she had been talking with me, I don't know how I would have responded. It made tears come to my eyes.

We've taken some big steps in the last week or so that we've been back in the US. Got a phone, signed a lease for a condo (just for 6 weeks), bought a car. It takes a lot to restart life in a different country.

But I'm enjoying some of the familiar, convenient things about "home". I decided at the last minute to make a fruit pizza (see photo) for our family get-together. Went to the store, which was open on the holiday, and found all the ingredients I needed, including instant cookie dough, and berries which should be out of season. Amazing. Ahhhh.

I am going to resume my daily photo taking. I'm not quite half-way to my 1000 photo goal. I am not sure about the future of this blog, though. I am going to start another and I'm going to aggressively promote it to other readers. It's a specific audience I'm trying to reach, and my subject matter will be a little more constrained. But I don't know if I should keep this blog going, in case I want space to be more "real" and "honest" or if I should roll it into the new blog. In any case, I won't be writing in this one every day like before.

But I wanted to let you all know I haven't dropped off the face of the earth, although I flew half-way around it, and wish you a really great 2013. :-)

eighteen

I'll miss being part of such an international community. It's so enriching and eye-opening and mind broadening. And there are so many neat people out there.

I won't miss sticking out. Because besides the ex-pat community, this country is largely homogenous. Everyone has very similar features, and being pale skinned, blond haired and blue eyed definitely marks me as being an outsider. I draw lots of unwanted attention, both positive and negative. I will definitely like blending in again.

countdown

Well, we're officially counting down the days until we leave, since it's now December. Nineteen days and counting.

I'm going to keep posts these days short and sweet. Mainly because I'm feeling stressed about everything else. So here's the drill: for the next 19 days, one thing I'll miss and one thing I won't miss. Here goes:

I'll miss riding behind Mr. on the motorbike. It's really free and fun to ride in the open air like that. Sure, we could get a motorcycle some day, but it's scary for two reasons: 1) you drive a LOT faster on good paved roads, and 2) people aren't as used to watching for motorcycles in the US as they are here. Motorbikes make up such a large part of the transportation system here; they still rule the road, in some ways.

I will not miss the traffic. Even though I don't drive, I see it stress Mr. out on a regular basis. The rules of the road are so different here. It all looks like chaos, but there are actually predictable patterns once you get used to it. But it is not like the orderly driving in the US. The rules here are more like suggestions. Also, I will not miss helmet head or struggling to hold onto and balance everything when we have lots of things to transport. Then a motorbike is not so handy.

understanding

I have been inspired by a saying I heard maybe six months ago, which goes, "You have the opportunity to influence others through a life lived differently."

It comforted me and confirmed to me the steps we have been taking toward this sabbatical year. It is a very different decision; one which confuses some people. Threatens others. We are communicating a whole different set of values than those that govern most people's decisions. We are breaking norms—both of the secular world and the ministry world.

But I really want people to look at our choices and wonder and re-evaluate and consider a different life than the one they are living. The thought kind of excites me.

So last night we were explaining our choice to someone who has known us for a long time, but not deeply. He was curious and considering some sort of change himself.

I was trying to express that this coming year was all about putting ourselves in a place to hear from God. To seek Him. To learn as much as we could from Him. And the guy's response was, basically, "I think you want to do that to make up for how unprepared you were for this ministry, so you can do better next time."

Well, not only had we stated clearly that we were not sure full-time ministry was in our future, we were also trying to emphasize that it was all about pursuing God. And, his words were a little insulting.

I was a bit put off and mentally checked out of the conversation. I leaned back in the chair and let Mr. do most of the talking. After a while the other guy noticed my silence and remarked that I seemed rather tired.

OK. I'll take that. Besides being a bit ticked off, I was honestly weary. It had been a long day.

Back home as I was climbing into bed I replayed the conversation in my mind, wondering how it could have been so misinterpreted. And as I slipped under the sheet I kind of heard God whisper, "You wanted to live differently. That means you will be misunderstood. Expect it. Get used to it."

Yeah, OK. I guess not everyone will get it. I'm going to somehow have to accept that fact.

cat

Well, Mr. made a toy for the cat. She loves it. Unfortunately it requires human participation. She sits by it and stares us down until one or the other of us picks it up and dangles it for her to chase.

Our feather duster fell apart. Cleverly, Mr. took the wooden handle, tied some left-over Christmas ribbon to it (yes, from last Christmas), and then stapled a few feathers to the ends of each ribbon. She could care less about most of it, but is fixated on the feathers. Something about that hunting instinct draws her right to those bird-like things.

We took her to the vet a few days ago and put her in her new carrier to get her there. Before that day she had been mildly curious about the carrier, casually in and out of it from time to time. Unfortunately, the visit to the vet was a bit traumatic. Now she wants nothing to do with the carrier. Tactical error.

So tonight I took her favorite thing and combined it with her least favorite thing. I drug the ribbons with the feathers in through one end of the carrier, then out the other. She was sorely tempted and stared at it a long time. After a little more coaxing, she went half-way into the carrier to pounce on the feathers, but then backed right out again. Well, it's a start.

No question that the airplane ride is going to confirm her hatred of the carrier, but we have to trick her into liking it before that.

Trying not to worry traveling half-way around the world with her. Way too much other stuff to get done before we cross that bridge.

erratic

So, last night the electricity went a bit crazy. We had dips in power, so that the light bulbs went very dim and the fans hardly spun. Then we would have huge surges, the lights gleaming too brightly and the fans whirling faster than they were meant to.

It lasted all night and part of the morning. I don't know what caused it, but it shorted out one of our surge protectors. But, that's why we have them, I guess. It kept the TV and fridge from blowing up—which is a good thing.

In a way, my emotions have been mirroring our electricity recently. Especially in regard to this move. I have times of excitement and optimism, followed by rather sad times. Up and down, cheery and gloomy. There are so many good things to look forward to. Also so many good things to leave behind.

Bah. The bittersweet nature of life and change and learning and leaving.

On a fun note, I bought a winter coat today. You will not understand the significance of this achievement until you know that 1)  I haven't had a new winter coat since before I was married and 2) The weather today was in the high 80's, the temps in the market were over 90, but I tried the coat on anyway, to make sure everything felt right. The only thing that didn't feel right was having a heavy winter coat on in those oven-like conditions.

Mr. and I also had a good laugh during coat-buying (he got one too) because we were very clumsy zipping them up. I never realized zipping up bulky winter coats was a skill one could lose. But there's no denying that we were both quite awkward about it.

And then there were the two good-bye meals we had today. Oh, not that we won't see those people again before we go, but it was the "let's have some quality time together" undercurrents that gave the meals a sense of poignancy. And I didn't take photos of the people we were with. And I kind of regret it.

sales

Today. Monday. The start of a whole new week. Last week I was at about 50%. Exercise, blog, cooking, about half of where I'd like it to be. I hope to get back on top of things this week. But I'm trying to be a bit forgiving with myself, because I know this next month is going to be crazy as we get ready to leave. There is only so much one can take on at once.

But I did jog this morning and it felt really good. I took some time to shoot photos as I walked from one place to another, and it was soooo enjoyable. It feels like I finally have room to breathe again, after about 3 really busy, breathless weeks.

Saturday was kind of a fun day. I took my calendars (which are finally printed, but that's a whole story in itself) and some of my photographs to a craft fair, where I rented a table and set my work out to see how they would sell.

What sticks out to me most about the day is watching people look at my photos. It's kind of a vulnerable, intimate moment. It's like I'm saying, "Hi. Here's how I see the world. I hope you like it." From what I could see, many people did like it. My display seemed to draw them and my photos made them smile. It was awesome. Unfortunately, few liked them enough to actually buy a piece.

I think part of my downfall is that they were photos. Many people probably looked at them and thought, "Well, I could probably do that if I tried." And, yes, many of the shots were scenes that are common enough around here. But it actually takes a lot of time and intentionality to really get good shots.

Regardless, it was really neat to see people enjoy my photography.

I cleaned up with the calendars, though, which helped with the financial end of things.

OK. Enough for tonight. Time to get to bed. Hopefully you'll hear a lot more from me this week. :-)