eighteen

I'll miss being part of such an international community. It's so enriching and eye-opening and mind broadening. And there are so many neat people out there.

I won't miss sticking out. Because besides the ex-pat community, this country is largely homogenous. Everyone has very similar features, and being pale skinned, blond haired and blue eyed definitely marks me as being an outsider. I draw lots of unwanted attention, both positive and negative. I will definitely like blending in again.

countdown

Well, we're officially counting down the days until we leave, since it's now December. Nineteen days and counting.

I'm going to keep posts these days short and sweet. Mainly because I'm feeling stressed about everything else. So here's the drill: for the next 19 days, one thing I'll miss and one thing I won't miss. Here goes:

I'll miss riding behind Mr. on the motorbike. It's really free and fun to ride in the open air like that. Sure, we could get a motorcycle some day, but it's scary for two reasons: 1) you drive a LOT faster on good paved roads, and 2) people aren't as used to watching for motorcycles in the US as they are here. Motorbikes make up such a large part of the transportation system here; they still rule the road, in some ways.

I will not miss the traffic. Even though I don't drive, I see it stress Mr. out on a regular basis. The rules of the road are so different here. It all looks like chaos, but there are actually predictable patterns once you get used to it. But it is not like the orderly driving in the US. The rules here are more like suggestions. Also, I will not miss helmet head or struggling to hold onto and balance everything when we have lots of things to transport. Then a motorbike is not so handy.

understanding

I have been inspired by a saying I heard maybe six months ago, which goes, "You have the opportunity to influence others through a life lived differently."

It comforted me and confirmed to me the steps we have been taking toward this sabbatical year. It is a very different decision; one which confuses some people. Threatens others. We are communicating a whole different set of values than those that govern most people's decisions. We are breaking norms—both of the secular world and the ministry world.

But I really want people to look at our choices and wonder and re-evaluate and consider a different life than the one they are living. The thought kind of excites me.

So last night we were explaining our choice to someone who has known us for a long time, but not deeply. He was curious and considering some sort of change himself.

I was trying to express that this coming year was all about putting ourselves in a place to hear from God. To seek Him. To learn as much as we could from Him. And the guy's response was, basically, "I think you want to do that to make up for how unprepared you were for this ministry, so you can do better next time."

Well, not only had we stated clearly that we were not sure full-time ministry was in our future, we were also trying to emphasize that it was all about pursuing God. And, his words were a little insulting.

I was a bit put off and mentally checked out of the conversation. I leaned back in the chair and let Mr. do most of the talking. After a while the other guy noticed my silence and remarked that I seemed rather tired.

OK. I'll take that. Besides being a bit ticked off, I was honestly weary. It had been a long day.

Back home as I was climbing into bed I replayed the conversation in my mind, wondering how it could have been so misinterpreted. And as I slipped under the sheet I kind of heard God whisper, "You wanted to live differently. That means you will be misunderstood. Expect it. Get used to it."

Yeah, OK. I guess not everyone will get it. I'm going to somehow have to accept that fact.