youth

Well, today was a great day. Quiet. Relaxed. I spent much of it by the pool, reading and resting.

I finally got in a few good hours of Bible study. It felt so good. I dove into the depths of the Hebrew word "hesed". It is very rich and varied; I only scratched the surface. I don't know that there was a close personal connection with Jesus today, but I sure got to explore and appreciate one aspect of His character in a whole new way.

Pizza by the pool for lunch, more study, a nap, and then I roused myself to exercise. Finally. They have an awesome workout room perfect for Zumba, and I have not done it once since I got here. The good floor and full mirrors on the walls made the workout more interesting, but did not make it any less brutal.

About a year ago I told a Doc that my knees were beginning to sound like Rice Crispies: snap, crackle and pop. I wondered if I should be worried. He asked, "Well, do they hurt?" and I said they didn't. He didn't think there was any problem. So, now the good news is my knees don't crack and creak any more. The bad news is, now they are beginning to hurt. Bummer.

And so, I realized as I showered and went back to the pool for an evening dip, that I am not going to regain my youth by losing a few pounds. (OK, more than a few, but that's irrelevant.) I think I was hoping that if I could get back to the weight I was when I got married, I would feel like I did back then, too. But that's simply a misguided assumption. A lot of life has passed by. I am more weary, serious, introspective and cynical. As a result, life has lost some of the sparkle it once had. Losing 20 or 30 pounds is not going to make me more enthused about life, more optimistic, or happier. It might help with the tiredness, since I won't be lugging around unnecessary weight, but I am simply not ever going to feel again like I did at 27. And I guess that's OK.

Anyway, a nice seafood supper with the Mr. for our last night in Singapore, and our vacation is almost over. Up side, I will see the kitty tomorrow. Down side, I could use a few more days like today.

But I'm grateful to have had it, no matter how quickly it flew by.