nocturnal

So, I know cats are nocturnal creatures. Still, I thought I'd try letting her into our bedroom last night. And she actually did pretty well. She remained curled up next to or on top of me for much of the night. Only, every time she woke up to change positions, it would be accompanied by a lot of meowing. Then, when she was happily sleeping again, I hesitated to shift positions, not wanting to wake her. But then I was cold, or uncomfortable, or had to go to the bathroom. So, I did not sleep very soundly last night.

And it colored my whole day today. I pushed myself through the things I needed to do, but I felt like I was pushing through a fog most of the time. I know I was moving more slowly than normal. And I didn't feel as upbeat in general. I think it was all due to being so tired.

I didn't even feel like looking for photos today, which is why you are stuck with a mediocre shot, at best.

I know someone who is going back to the US tomorrow and so I prepared mail to send back with her. I am just now getting around to sending Christmas cards to my Mr.'s  relatives in Hungary and Romania. (Yes, Christmas cards.) (Yes, Hungary and Romania.)

I have only met them once, but they were so warm and generous to us. Writing to them made me think of them, which made me kind of miss them. Then I started missing family in general. It's sometimes hard to live so far away from home. With family there's a safety, a belonging. I am longing for that security tonight.

I argued just a little bit with the Mr. first thing this morning, wanting his reassurance when he wasn't giving it. And I have spent portions of the day chasing the little cat, trying to get her to cuddle with me. To no avail. The way to get a cat to cuddle you is by convincing her you don't want her around. Then she'll be all over you.

Anyway, I guess I am feeling a little lonely and isolated. I'm sure it's heightened by my general weariness. But what did I do to fill the void? Meaningless things like video games. What did I NOT do? Look to God to fill the holes. Stupid.

But for me tomorrow is always a new day, a fresh start. I am sure I'll do better tomorrow. I just need to get some sleep tonight… starting now!