distracted

OK. I desperately want to get to bed early tonight. I worked most of the day (on the computer) when I really wanted to rest and spend time seeking God. I blew it. But I told the guy I'd have his photos ready to give to him at church this evening, and I procrastinated. Anyway, I hope he likes them. They were family photos; my first attempt.

We crossed paths with a guy at church tonight who broke my heart. He approached us with a broad smile and greeted us with a "Happy New Year!" We returned the wishes, and asked how he had celebrated new year's eve. He said he stayed at home with his family, praying with his wife, thanking God for his mercies and asking for His favor in the coming year. My Mr. remarked that the past year had been a rough one for this man & his family. I watched pain pass through his eyes, and his shoulders rise briefly with a slight sigh. You see, a daughter of his died this year; she is the second child they've lost. And then his wife had also been very ill. We told him we hoped the next year would be better for him, and he said, "We all do."

And what was I doing for the new year? Nothing that deep or meaningful, for sure. Watching an old sitcom, sipping champagne. Sure, spending the time with some dear friends, but our conversations were light and so were our hearts.

I say I want depth, a close walk with God. Am I willing to pay the price? Am I willing to go through the experiences that are necessary to develop the kind of character I say I want?

And on a completely different note, dance is the most divine form of self-expression, and in eternity I will do it with utter abandon.