unexpected

The day ended on a beautiful note, and so I feel like the whole day was beautiful. I feel full up, satisfied. I will go to bed and dream beauty.

Even barbed wire looked beautiful tonight.

To be honest, the day was full of good things. A looooong skype call with my mom and grandma. Treasures, both of them, although I had the same exchange with grandma about six times.

"What's that sound?"

"Traffic, grandma."

"Where do you live again?"

"In a big city."

"I thought you lived in a hut."

Well, it was something very similar to that, time and again. She is correct in that I live in a poor country, but I have never lived in a hut, and moved to the capitol city four years ago. But in other areas she's still very much herself. Sharp, witty. A beautiful soul, young despite 87 years.

Mr. took care of lunch so that I could have a good two hours to study the Bible, reach out for God. A passage in Isaiah and a Psalm both moved me. I tried to be still, to listen for God. The cat slept at my feet. Although I didn't reach any conclusions, there was a peace about the time.

Church was good, and then we met some friends for supper. On a whim we decided to go to a movie. And that's where the magic happened. As crazy as it might sound, God spoke to me there.

The film we saw was "Hugo". I was transfixed. Transported. Thrilled by beauty. The telling of the story, the craftsmanship, the subject matter all whispered to deep places my soul. Soothed. Stirred. Strengthened.

It's about fixing broken people and finding lost dreams, hope, courage, and creating beauty. It is about being who you were meant to be.

And that had been the nature of my many questions to God earlier in the day.

I followed the man I love to this developing country twelve years ago after a whirlwind courtship, happily setting aside dreams to pursue a new life. Letting go parts of me, in order to be more of what was needed at the time.

And I wouldn't change that.

But I have begun to realize that I dishonor God, doing a disservice to others and myself, by being anything other than who He made me to be. I cheat the world of the unique contribution that only I can make, when I deny what I was designed for.

I exist to glorify the Creator by creating, bringing the order and beauty of the eternal God into this temporary, chaotic world so that others will want more of Him in their lives.

How this will look, and how to go about it, I still don't exactly know. But I felt His nod tonight, through the creativity of others. I am on the right track. He is urging me forward.