A frustrating beginning to today. Didn't get out of the house as quickly as I wanted to. I kept finding things to do at home, although I had intended to go to the restaurant bright and early so that I could get a lot of painting done.
Part of the problem is that we are leaving for a trip tomorrow, so I was trying to think ahead about packing and preparing the house for our absence. The other problem is that I got caught up in e-mails, facebook, and other time wasters. Booo.
Then, when I finally got out the door, I kept hitting road blocks. The tailor, to whom I gave work three weeks ago, still didn't have my pants finished. It didn't even look like he had started. This was the third time he had promised they would be done a certain day, and missed the deadline. I really wanted them for our trip.
I stopped at a hardware store for a few supplies, which went well, and then swung by my friend's house. This is the friend who came over last night, and they had forgotten a bottle at our place. Only, the gate to their apartment building was locked, and no one was available to come open it. So I left the bottle with a neighbor, and didn't get to see my friend. :-(
By that time I was beginning to panic because the morning was slipping away and I hadn't yet made it to the restaurant. But instead of getting agitated, God helped me calm down. I slowed my walk. I looked around for photos to take. I started to feel the anxiety drain away.
As I walked, I thought. One thing I really struggle with living in this country is how aggressive to be. I think that was the problem, both with the pizza last night, and my sewing today. They both know I'm a nice person. I told the tailor there wasn't a rush. (Of course, that was THREE WEEKS ago!)
Much of life here involves fighting and pushing. We have to haggle for everything to get a good price. You have to drive aggressively or you will never get anywhere. Nice people get shoved to the back or taken advantage of. And all of this aggression builds up. I feel a pool of anger slowly filling my soul. My figurative fists are always clenched and I am tensed for a fight.
I long, instead, for a reservoir of peace inside, that I can tap into when things get ugly. I want to rise above the fray and remain calm. I want to drain the angry swamp and replace it with still waters. I hope God is working to change the landscape of my heart.
Anyway, I got to the restaurant and painted the rest of the day. I actually got a lot more done than I expected to, and was pleased with the results of my work.
I came home and showered (my paint clothes were soaked through with sweat) and I was in my comfy pants by 5:30. Not that I just lounged around the rest of the night; I made supper and washed dishes and cleaned the litter box and did a load of laundry. But it was still a relatively quiet evening.
Tomorrow we leave for 5 days. I always get a bit clingy when we are preparing to abandon the cat. I feel so bad leaving her alone. I just want to hold her and cuddle her. Unfortunately, she hates all the extra attention. But it's just for 5 days. She'll be fine. And a friend has promised to stop in and play with her from time to time. It'll be fine, but I think I said that already.
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