midnight

It's extremely late again. How does this happen? I won't be finished until after midnight, and I had promised myself I'd get to bed at a good time. Bah.

I got a lot done today, although I felt like I was moving through molasses most of the day. My motivation is so low, even though there are things waiting that I would normally want to do and enjoy doing. I just feel unfocused and blah.

I was thinking today:

One, I dropped off the photos of the lily that I took last week at the Chinese temple. I did not meet the old uncle who talked to me then, but the old dude who I talked with seemed appreciative of the photos.

They have a steady rotation of old dudes, who pound drums and ring bells throughout the day, and maybe on into the night. I don't know what their purpose is, but I sometimes admire their discipline.

But I was thinking that that religion, with its prescribed offerings and  rigorous schedules, might look impressive, but I still think I have it harder. If only I had a check list of things to be done. I'm really good at that. But instead I have a God who wants so much more than outward conformity.

He wants all of me; nothing less will do. He expects me to be so serious about following Him that it impacts everything about me. I am to give Him my thoughts, my reactions, my words, my very soul. Every minute of every day His truth is supposed to saturate and transform my life.

Now I see why people find the "check list" so desirable! This is a tall order!

I think I had more to write about, but I'm fighting to keep my eyes open as it is. Maybe I'll remember it for tomorrow, and if not it must not have been that important.