tantrum

So, reason #142 why I didn't post last evening: my computer asked if I would like to install some updates that it had uploaded from the internet, I clicked "yes" and it took over a half an hour for them all to install—during which I could do nothing on the computer, and by the time everything was finished, it was past 10 and way too late to begin writing a post.

In fact, maybe it's better to post in the morning: I am not usually so tired, and I think I write more lucid, thoughtful posts. Sometimes in the evening I am so tired my post just turns out to be a list of things I did during the day. But, my mornings are sometimes rushed and very full. I don't know.

Anyway, yesterday saw the end of the retreat, and we headed home around noon. Of COURSE, that was just about the time the clouds were clearing and the sun was coming out. Besides that, it was too short. It felt like we had just started settling in, relaxing, catching our breath. Bummer. I found myself singing "our meetings are few, and over too soon…" (anyone know what musical that's from??)

I stumbled across two people who are the same age as I am yesterday. It isn't that I just met them yesterday, but that I hadn't before realized that we are the same age. I had always assumed the woman was a bit older than I, and that the guy was younger. But it was just an assumption, based on bearing, attitude, energy, etc. Weird. We're all turning forty in the next few months.

It made me wonder what age people take me for. I know that being married to Mr. sometimes works in my disadvantage. He's almost 10 years my senior, and so some people assume I'm older than I really am. (Often, though, it works the other way around and people guess Mr. to be younger than he is!)

Unfortunately, if anyone besides Mr. had seen me yesterday afternoon, they would have figured I was about 3 or 4. I got home from the retreat with just one hour before we needed to leave for church. And remember that Sunday school lesson I still needed to prepare? Yep. Even though I had worked on it a bit at the retreat, it was still a rush at the end to get it finished. And so I did what any reasonable almost-40-year-old would do: I threw a temper tantrum. No, it wasn't a huge one. My frustration just burst out in 3 or 4 short, terse sentences (including maybe one or two naughty words…), vocalized loudly, aimed at no one in particular, but hitting Mr. since he was the only one around.

Anyway, all of my worry and stress was for nothing, though, because God was once again gracious and gave me only 4 students. Two were quite well-behaved, and two didn't speak English, so they only half-understood the lesson anyway. I translated back and forth, but they were more interested in running around the room. Doesn't sound like the best solution, but for this one time, it worked OK. By the way, the lesson I threw together was on the six days of creation, which is actually what they have been studying for the past month. Another little detail God worked out.

When am I going to finally learn the lesson that God is in control and I should just relax about things? No time soon, I'm afraid. :-(