control

I got home last night and it was so late. It had been a very nice evening, and I just wanted to go to bed and rest. I thought I'd get up early and post my blog this morning. But I didn't. Sorry to skip a day; still, got the photo of the day, so that's OK.

I had a bit of a talk with God yesterday. It was at a church get-together. There was some time for personal reflection. I was thinking, kind of complaining to God about my recent physical problems. My knee is still aching, that spot of skin cancer and the surgery, and now my heart.

I have already admitted that part of my ambitious exercise and weight-loss goals is because I feel out of control in many other aspects of my life. My work, where we will live, our future. At least I am going to take control of what I do with my body.

But as I was praying, I seemed to hear Jesus say, "See, you don't even have control over that." Not in a mean way, but in a weary, patient way. Like I keep missing a lesson over and over. And He's right. I ultimately have no control over what happens to me physically. I can work as hard as I want, but there are no guarantees. I am not actually master of my own body.

I feel like I have let go of so many things, am learning not to hold onto control so tightly in so many areas of life. But He is still prying my fingers loose. I am still learning this hard lesson. When will it be done?

Later in the day I stopped by a friend's shop to invite her to come to a DVD series for people exploring Christianity. I missed her by 5 minutes. I left a flier, but that is extremely lame. I will call her tomorrow to see if she's interested.

I was going to meet Mr. and a few other friends at a near-by restaurant and found myself with about an hour to kill before the rest of them arrived. I wandered around a park and practiced some night-time photography. Without a tripod it was a bit tricky, but I came up with a few good shots. Mr. came early and we walked and talked a bit. Love him.

Supper was at a Brazilian steakhouse in celebration of my friend's birthday. It was amazing. You ordered the "meat buffet" and waiters just came to your table all night long with different cuts of meat on skewers. If you wanted some they carved a slice off for you, onto your plate. I think I ate enough meat last night to last me a month. But oh so yummy.

Today was very quiet, in many ways. Talked a good while to my parents first off. Then caught a friend on Facebook chat. It was good to get caught up. Lunch, some Bible reading/dozing. (Hate it when I do that!) Then off to church early; I was the worship leader and needed to practice with the other singers. It was a really good service. The speaker was Swedish, but he was so deep and thorough in the things he had to say. I appreciated him very much.

Now time to wrap the day up, hassle the kitty, and get to bed.

Oh yeah. This is my 365th post. Can you believe I've been at this for a whole year???