I don't know what's wrong with me. I am having trouble sorting things out in my head. I can't seem to get a grip on my time and what needs to be done with it. It's all a messy blur and all feels very overwhelming at this moment.
Plus it doesn't help that it's just stinking HOT. You can hardly breathe, let alone think.
If I were honest, I'd have to say it wasn't a bad day. I just feel like I let the evening slip away from me. And in reality, I didn't even do that.
I was up at a good time, did some internet work, posted for my on-line class, and exercised (!!!) for the first time in about a month. Of course, I only made it about half way through the hour-long workout video, but it's a start. I'm back in the saddle again.
Showered, talked to Mr. a bit, and then headed off for a coaching appointment. We ended up having lunch together, too, and talking until about 2. Walked home, napped for about an hour.
Remembered I needed to get a bulletin insert finished today so they can photo copy it tomorrow to put into the bulletin on Sunday. Worked on that until about 6. Heated up leftovers for supper, watched American Idol and surfed the net.
That's where things kind of took a down-hill turn. I am looking for a place for us to stay for a 3 to 4 month retreat when we first return to the US next year. To begin with, I'm a lousy at internet searches. It overwhelms and bewilders me to wade through all of that information. Then, I wasn't finding what I wanted. It doesn't seem like a very common request to ask for a nice place of retreat (preferably an isolated cabin far from civilization) for a few months, at a reasonable price. Oh, and did I mention, it needs to be pet friendly??
OK. I admit, that's a pretty tall order. But what I found depressed me. The nice places either only let you stay for 1 or 2 weeks (Christian retreat centers), or cost an arm and a leg (vacation rentals). The missionary places look dumpy and depressing. And I am still not finding a lot of places that would smile on my cat…
:-(
Mr. chuckled at my tears of frustration, surprised that I really expected to find the perfect solution in just one evening of searching. OK. A little unrealistic, I admit, but after tonight's searches I am simply despairing that the perfect solution even exists.
Why do we always seem to ask for things that don't fit into anyone else's box? What's wrong with us??
I had a pretty enlightening talk with a teacher a week ago, and she said that there are kids that just don't fit into the system. It isn't that there's anything wrong with the kids; it's that the system itself is broken.
I've been thinking about that in a broader sense since then. I have been trying to take half a day a week and just spend it with God. Some people think that's a pretty extravagant indulgence. Now we're asking for a year away, just to rest, reflect, reconnect with God and ask Him what's next for us. Most say that's a luxury they just can't afford.
But when did it get to be that seeking God was a luxury? How did tending to the every-day "necessities" of life become so all-consuming? When did God become a luxury and not a necessity??
I'm not advocating irresponsibility. I realize people have to make a living. But how can God be central to life, instead of something we work in if we can make the time?? Isn't this getting to the heart of what it means to "seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you"? Yes, it's just talking about food and clothes. No, not the extras and the frills. But who told us we needed those things anyway?
No comments:
Post a Comment