Worry

Well, as indicated by yesterday's entry, we are traveling. We left home this morning and traveled about 5 1/2 hours (over rough roads) to another town. We are hoping to escape the noisy celebrations that will take place in our home city throughout this week.

It also means my little cat is alone for 7 long days.

Worry, worry, worry.  Guilt, guilt, guilt.

I thought, "If I hire a housekeeper to come and feed her every day, then I'll feel OK about going."

Done. But still anxious.

"Well, if I can find a westerner who will come and check in on her from time to time, then everything will be fine."

Accomplished. But still I'm stressed, just sitting here thinking of all the things that could go wrong.

It isn't so much that I don't trust God. It's that I don't know what to trust Him for. What can I expect from God? He has promised to love us and to work everything out for our good. But He never promised that things would be easy, or happy all the time, or work out the way we want them to. He promises that His ways are right and perfectly good, but also that His ways are not mine. NOT very comforting.

I totally need to let this go. The hard truth is that we are never in control, regardless of how desperately we want to believe we are. How much less can I control this situation with my cat, five hours away?

Rest, rest, rest. Trust, trust, trust. LET GO.

I have been as responsible as I can be to take care of that kitten in my absence. When am I going to start trusting God's heart, really truly believing that His ways are better than my own?