Bugged

In a rather foul mood tonight. I guess there are many factors. Sitting down to write this blog has made me stop and sort them out.

I'm tired, that's one. I didn't get anything done on the Christmas cards today, which makes me feel panicked. But probably the root of it all is I sat all day and listened to people present plans for their future life and ministry in this country.

I suppose it makes me grumpy for two reasons. One, our own future is so uncertain, and two, I see people heading into similar mistakes as the ones we made early on, and I see no way to stop it. Many are not even learning the local language, which is really distressing to me.

However, I feel like a jerk being so judgmental. Especially when I know that most of these people are truly seeking to do what God wants. And He can choose to work in different ways through different people.

My principles and the conclusions I have drawn after 11+ years here are my own. My path is unique, and the lessons I am walking away with might be specifically for me and no one else. I don't know. If I do speak up I sound harsh and cynical, and I'm tired of that role. People easily shrug off advice they don't want to hear, anyway.

So, off to bed with me. More of the same tomorrow, and I must find a way to be in a better frame of mind.