reality

I slipped a little today and got caught up in a daydream. I haven't done that for quite a while. I always feel bad when I lose command of my mind like that. It wanders into a scenario and I try to pull it back to here and now. But there's just something so gratifying about crafting conversations, envisioning scenes, making a story in your head. And then my inner critics begin to argue.

"You shouldn't try to escape reality like this. Stay present. Stay engaged."

"But what's the difference between making up a story in my head, and watching one on TV?"

That's where the argument always comes to a stand-still, and my mind, feeling quite smug, continues with the fantasy.

But today I stopped to think: how many hours a day do I watch TV? If you subtract things like news, sports, etc., it still leaves about an hour or two a day that I focus on something that is completely unreal. 

On top of that, I spent over an hour writing today, and also an hour or so reading a classic novel. So, frankly, more of my day was spent in fictional worlds than in the real one.

Then tonight at supper with a few friends, the conversation turned to movies and shows that we had seen. And it was fun. Lots of laughter as we talked of characters and favorite scenes and funny anecdotes. But again I was brought up short: none of this is real. All of those people and situations are made-up.

Don't get me wrong: I love the arts. Theater, movies, TV, storytelling. I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with entertainment and creativity. But I wonder how it is that fiction has come to claim such significant chunks of our time and attention.

Would the world be better off if we spent more time in reality? Would we be better people? Deeper? Smarter? Were extraordinary people of the past outstanding because they didn't have so many distractions? What does God think about the time we spend escaping? Why isn't He as attractive an option?

Frankly I know He will always be more satisfying, fulfilling, beautiful than any movie, daydream or TV show. But truthfully, He's a lot more work. It's just so much easier to drift away into make-believe—whether it's my own or someone else's.

But still. I always get the sense I'm settling for second best. Something "less than".