make-believe

I have never been one for “life verses”. But one has been growing on me in the past month or two, and I'm seriously consider taking it on as my own.

“I have set the Lord continually before me; because He is at my right hand I will not be shaken.” (Psalm 16:8)

With apologies to my faithful, one and only commenter, I am just not getting around to responding. I fully intended to, but between posting every day, and my schedule filling more and more, I'm having trouble working it in.

SO, here are a few thoughts I would have written, if I had found the time. Is it poor blogging etiquette to respond to a comment with another post? I hope not.

I am intrigued more and more by what it means, what it might look like to “set the Lord continually before me.” To be aware of Him constantly with me, to be in ongoing dialogue with Him. It sounds unattainable.

However, I know that my daydreams usually take me in the opposite direction. I know my own head and heart. I know they move farther from God when I allow myself to fantasize.

Those conversations we have in our head? I have had many. They swirl and spiral and often go nowhere. I have played and replayed alternate responses and endings for situations that never materialized. I have spent countless hours and energy rehearsing conversations that never happened.

I am not against being prepared, but at least for me, I know that these internal dialogues are just worry. They are me trying to “handle” things on my own. Solve problems myself. They are examples of how I leave God out of the picture.

And then there are the daydreams. Beautiful. Exciting. Comforting. You of all people know how much I love creativity and imagination. They are part of who I am. I believe they are gifts from God.

But when I turn to dreams rather than to God to fill a desire or a need, I am misusing those good gifts He gave me. All of those lovely pretendings—there is nothing real about them. And the crazy thing about God is that He is the ultimate reality, and so far beyond anything I can grasp that I could use all my creative powers to imagine what He must be like, and I will forever fall short of the truth. The reality of who He is so totally blows away any fantasy I could create for myself.

I also risk falling into discontentment if I allow myself to daydream too much. I really have so many good things in my life. But when I imagine an alternate world just the way I want, it seems so perfect that I have trouble being content with real life—with its quirks and troubles and flaws. Because as we know, “Life’s messy…”

A few verses later in Psalm 16:11 it says, “In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.” All those beautiful things I pursue in my dreams are found in Him. Why not spend my time dreaming about Him?