positive

What do you do when medical tests come back positive? And I mean positive in a negative sense. The biopsy the doctor took from my chin came back positive for skin cancer. Ugh.

Mr. found out before I did. He got the e-mail and then told me about it. I was disappointed. Even though the doctor had been pretty sure of the diagnosis when he took the biopsy, there was still some hope he could be wrong. (That's the optimist in me, I guess.) There's just something very stark and defeating about seeing it in black and white, spelled out one letter at a time.

But, as positive as the doctor was that it was skin cancer, he was also just as positive that it was a type that is non-threatening and easily dealt with. We have scheduled a follow-up appointment with him on Wednesday to see what the next steps are.

So I'm staying positive, too. The worst part of this will probably be telling my mom, which I'm dreading, but must be done soon. Bah. I think I'll bypass skype and call their phone directly. Hearing the worry in her voice will be bad enough; I don't want to see it in her face, too. Bah.

In light of what I wrote yesterday, I just have to see this as one more step in my unique journey. Yeah, it's not what I would have chosen. But He's still leading…

So, what do you do after finding out you have skin cancer? Well, just go on with your day. Really, what else is there to do? It's sort of surreal. You just keep going as if nothing has changed. And it really hasn't—I've had this spot for over a year now. Nothing has changed from yesterday to today.

And yet, it somehow has.