Today I jogged. I hate jogging. Hate it, hate it, hate it. That panicked suffocating feeling. That gasping for air. The certainty that if you don't get oxygen soon, you are actually going to die. And to make matters worse, I am currently 9,000 feet above sea level, so the air is oxygen-starved.
In three weeks I go back to the developing country in which I work. I have never tried jogging there, but I have felt the same suffocating panic. The same gasping for breath. Not for lack of oxygen, but for lack of beauty. The darkness presses down. The human despair takes the breath away. I have felt the life slowly ebbing out of my soul.
That's why I have to succeed with this experiment. I have to learn to find beauty when beauty is in short supply. I have to learn how to breathe when the atmosphere is God-starved.
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