competence

I had one of those amazing moments today when I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that I was doing exactly what I was made to do.

I met with a woman for whom I am creating a logo. It sometimes stuns me to see myself doing such significant work. And it comes relatively easily for me. From beginning to end, there is no doubt in my mind that I can successfully deliver a good product.

Competence feels very good. I had almost forgotten what it was like…

Much of life in a foreign culture is like returning to childhood. Initially you can't talk, you can't get yourself around, you don't know how to acquire the most basic necessities of life. Eventually you learn and adjust, but there are always those moments when you are reminded that you are out of your element. Always those humbling experiences of incompetence.

For instance, I can read and write the local language. I have advanced farther than many of my foreign colleagues. But I still make grade school errors with grammar and sentence structure. My vocabulary is sufficient, but not extensive. I can not express myself with the fluency, richness, or depth that I could my native language.

And I never will.

I will never move through these streets, this society, as skillfully as I will my own. I will never understand the unspoken assumptions or get the inside jokes. I will never be completely at home here.

And I am eager to be at home.

I am looking forward to the deep soul rest that comes from being completely comfortable in your own skin. Completely at ease in your surroundings. Completely competent in all the little things of life.